The past few months I’ve been consistently getting to the gym to do bodybuilding style weight training. It was a calling that mysteriously came out of nowhere that I decided to answer.
I enjoyed getting to stimulate my body in this new way, and watch it grow and respond. It further deepens my appreciation and respect for how the body is always seeking to adapt to the circumstances and environment it’s put in.
I received much in the process and am now seeing in retrospect, that while it was tons of fun and objectively beneficial, it was also a bit of an escape. When I started the journey I had had some challenging feelings arising as a part of the natural growth process. I did my best to be present with what I could, but going to the gym everyday was a welcome break from the mental weight I would often find myself in.
Even though it was mostly an escape, I was still able to harvest many gems from the experience: -mind muscle connection: feeling more connected to muscles all over my body -bodybuilding wisdom: getting some first hand beginner-level experience at what actually works and what doesn’t to add muscle to the body -aesthetic: better appreciation for my own body shape and how to maintain/shift it as I please -strength: can move heavy things around, do massage, climb mountains with greater fluidity and ease -weightlifting knowledge: I spent a lot of time researching and gathering high quality information, filtering out the useful from the not through my own experimentation
With a recent breakthrough in my emotional world, I’ve been able to release a lot of pent up spiritual energy and address some issues that had been awaiting my attention.
I find that thing inside that was driving me to go to the gym is gone and I don’t know if it’ll come back. It’s been a week since I’ve lifted heavy and I don’t have that same itch to get back into it. Perhaps I’ve gotten what I need from it. Perhaps I no longer need so much escape.
I welcome the space and time and am excited to see what I get into next.